I hate being blind

During 3rd period today, I got a pass to go to the nurse’s office. So I sat in there for a long time waiting for her to tell me why I’m there. She says that one of my teachers thinks I have eye problems(since I squint too much or something) and thought my eyes should be checked. The truth is, I am blind. I carry a pair of glasses, but I only put them on, when I really need to see something, that I can’t. Like for instance, the board, the overhead, things like that. I’m nearsighted, and I got awful vision. The only reason why I don’t wear my glasses is because I think I look dorky in them. Actually, I look dorky without them, with them, I look super dory, and geeky, which isn’t better. So I choose not to wear glasses when I can, and it kind of surprises people sometimes that I’m really blind. So she wants to do an eye test, and I tell her I’m blind. She’s surprised, goes to check out my file, and understands. I take the eye test with my glasses, and she decides to send an e-mail to all my teachers about my glasses should be on all the time or something like that, I couldn’t hear well. It’s too bad that she didn’t point out which teacher told her, because she forgotten or something, so I’m left to figure that out. I only narrowed it down to 5/6. So I went back to class, only discovering that my teacher left early, everybody else finished up the food pryamid thing except me, and the bell rang pretty quick before I could ask questions. Thanks nurse. So I tossed it in my binder and went off to Biology. It was a pretty normal class period, I didn’t ask if she was the one who commented about my eyes though, I was a bit preoccupied. She didn’t tell me to put on my glasses though, maybe she wasn’t the one who did it, or she didn’t read the e-mail yet. Then came lunch. Today, I’ve been walking around tapping on peoples shoulders’ and scampering away, trying to trick them. I also have been pulling up a few jacket hoods for fun. I know, it sounds silly and immature, but I haven’t done this since 6th grade, and I just wanted to have some fun today. So during lunch, I did a little bit of that, plus, I also went around sitting at random table groups in the cafeteria. I might sit at this table, and say hi, and then get up a few seconds later. Or I might sit at this table, pretending not to care, and waiting for somebody to speak up about me. Or I would just jump right into it all, and converse with them like I’m their friend or something. Some table near the West Wing of the Large Commons took notice of this (I didn’t visit their table BTW) and I could hear the across the cafeteria saying, "Hey Michael!" I would give a wave, and move on. I wasn’t real keen on going to them though. It’s not like their weird or anything, actually there somebody you would consider cool, as far as I could tell, but I kept moving on. I was real nervous and wasn’t in the mood to talk to them. But it did make me happy they took notice of me though. And then I had a confrontation with this guy I tapped on the should and ran away. Actually, he just asked if I did it, I said yes, and that was it. I know, I sound pretty loony, but I just wanted some excitement today, and decided to open myself up. Anyways, back to the glasses story. So now it’s 5th period. Tardy bell hasn’t rung yet, but Mr. Kaufmann got his e-mail, and said I had to wear my glasses. I was shocked. I put them on and during the whole class period, I wasn’t really happy. I was nervous and couldn’t concentrate or whatever. I hated it. He’s not mean, really nice actually, but those were the stupid orders from the e-mail he got. I didn’t confront him about my problem though. So then 6th period came, we had 2 Romeo & Juliet quizzes. She’s passing out quizzes, and says to me to put on my glasses. Again, I’m shocked. I can’t believe this! So I sat and stared at the quizzes and just concentrated on it. But I was still nervous about my glasses and everything. At the end of the period, I asked Mrs. Pruitt if I really HAD to wear them, and she says she really knows how I feel (which is why she came up to me to tell me), but she has to follow orders. She feels the sympathy I told her, but the best thing she could do was to for me to tell the nurse to write an e-mail back that I didn’t have to do this. So I sped to the nurse’s office. We talk real quick. She says that I should wear my glasses, just so I can see. I tell her the problems with it, like being nervous, not concentrating, feeling moody and all that. She talks more about why I should wear my glasses. So I pop the question, "Can you please send e-mails back to all my teachers that I don’t have to wear my glasses? I would really appreciate it, and it would help me feel better." She says, "I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s because you really have to wear your glasses. It’s not that bad…" So I lost. I went on the bus feeling angry, sad, and just tired. I just still can’t believe this. She sends an e-mail to my teachers that I should be wearing my glasses all the time, and they listen to her, like they have to. Since when did the nurse have more power than the teacher? This is so unfair! Nobody should be telling me to put my glasses on, and when to take them off and whatever. It’s not like I have a smoking habit, biting-fingernails habit, or anything so serious. It’s just that I have a habit of not wearing glasses unless necessary. But I’M FORCED TO WEAR GLASSES. That’s the difference. It’s like I’m losing the right to see blind. The nurse thinks what she’s doing is good for me, but it will hurt me emotionally, and mental-health related. I’ve adjusted to switching my classes and all, but this is something different. I have to wear glasses. Not by choice, but I HAVE TO. It’s just not fair. She doesn’t control my eyes, and I don’t want to. I just wish I had some idea how to take controll of this situation. And I mean I want to win the freedom to not wear glasses, I don’t want to adjust at all to doing this. I have to draw the line somewhere.

7 responses to “I hate being blind

  1. so why can\’t u get contacts if u hate wearing glasses??????
    and i don\’t think people really notice the difference if you wear glasses. You are just feeling very self concious and it seems like a reallybig deal for you. It would better for you to wear them all the time because your eyes would get worse and you would get even blinderr.. so yup!
    good lucccck

  2. Hey, thanks for your concern about me. Sorry, but I\’m self-conscious and nothing can change that. I\’m already a sorry state and don\’t want to do any more worse. But I\’ll try to slip out of that shyness thing that I have with it.

  3. i think u just need someone to talk to and to help you boost your confidence up! When you believe in yourself, other people would too.
    You can also try weightlifting! haha lots of guys exercise to boost their confidence…. my friend did..

  4. Weightlifting, eh? I usually like to do my own excercises, just something simple everyday. I usually do 70 crunches, 80 jumping-jacks, and 90 push-ups in the morning, and the same amount at night. I\’m great in physical condition, it\’s just my stupid face. It just doesn\’t seem right on me. It\’s great that you came back though. How did you find me? I don\’t see that you have a Live Space or anything. So where did you find me?

  5. well i do have msn space, i just didn\’t put in the address.
    but i don\’t use it.
    my friend was quiet and shy in gr 10, then in gr 11 he weightlifted and got some nice muscles!. So in gr 12, muscles helped boost his confidence and he became more outgoing and talkative. and eveyrthing worked out!
    i was on msn what\’s ur story and u commented on someone\’s entry. so i clicked on ur page and one of ur entries reminded me of one of my friends so i saved it and forgot it untill i was deleting stuff in my favorites folder. and here i am.

  6. I know how you feel about wearing glasses… I started wearing glasses in the first grade and I remember everyone laughing at me because I was so little and my glasses covered my whole face! But the thing I remember more than anything is how much clearer everything was and I stopped having headaches. Look at it this way, at least the nurse didnt email your teachers and make all of them sit you in the front of all your classes!

  7. Hey thanks guys, for the support. It feels nice that y\’all just came here to comment about how it\’s ok to wear them and all. I\’m getting over it, really. I think I\’ve gotten over my shyness of wearing them. There\’s other people like me that do that too, wear glasses just when it\’s necessary. I just only really need it to take a good look at something a distance away, and I\’m perfectly ok without them. That\’s what I see some people do too. And I guess I don\’t really care. Everybody knows me, and we all have bad traits, and it\’s no use hiding them. So I don\’t give a care really if somebody sees me with them on. I just wear them and do my work. Thanks for the comments guys.

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