I’m DOOMED for the next 1 and a 1/2 years

Today has been a very sad day for me. Very sad. So many things went wrong this morning. I don’t know why this happened to me.

I was going to go get my permit today. I’ve been studying at home, sort of, and even though I was suppose to go like a month ago, I decided to wait out until today. Little did I know, what incidents would occur in the next few hours.

My dad, my cousin and her father (they and her mom and aunt have been staying at our house for awhile) decided to go out today. As we were getting into the car, I asked my dad if it was ok for my cousin (21, female) to take me to Splashtown sometime. She’s still new to driving, and even though my mom OK’d it yesterday, my dad said no. I try not to, but I ask my dad often if he can drive me to Splashtown and drop me off. My dad always gets upset and goes on about how he works so hard every day, fuel prices, the distance, and how I always just look at ways to enjoy myself. Every time, I feel awful. I know all these things (except the last part), but I don’t try to make my father miserable by making him take me out there. All I’m asking is just a ride, a little time and some fuel to go on. I already have a season pass, and don’t plan on spending anything else there. But he’s kind of old, and is tired from this.

My cousin drove her new white Toyota with my dad, her dad, and me. First she drove to the local community college to do something. My dad was sort of reprimanding me about asking to go yet again with Phuong, and I all I’m just asking for is a ride. I don’t want to waste what was spent on that Season Pass (difficult to even get), and I feel I should enjoy any free time I have with it. But my dad think I’ll all about having a good time, instead of caring that we’re not exactly rich and he’s not exactly free to take me for such leisure. He even said I bothered him so much, that he’s not planning on buying me one next year. I was flabbergasted. It’s just ONE innocent question. Can you take me or not? Yes or no? No need to give me a lecture. We left her there, and my dad took me and her dad to DPS to get my permit.

On the way, we kept arguing and stuff. He said I shouldn’t even ask that question on the day of my test. I should just be concentrating on the test ahead of me. But how can I think that, when my father is saying all these bad things about me and Splashtown? I want to talk it out, but he keeps telling me to stop talking. I don’t know why he does this. I just want him to politely answer yes or no next time, and that I don’t mean anything by asking him. I just want to check if he has free time, for crying out loud! I’m not asking to go to Turkey.

Finally, I shut up, after his many threats that we’ll just turn back home instead of going to DPS. I pointed out that if he’s so worried about fuel prices, it doesn’t make sense to almost be there, and not take advantage of going there NOW.

Finally, he made a U-turn at the Beltway, when disaster struck. I guess he was so upset, he sort of crashed into the other car in front of us as we did the U-turn. Just a fender-bender, I think. I don’t know. I didn’t want to look. The lady driver and us pulled up to a parking lot across the feeder, and my dad and her talked or something. I was so mad. I knew my dad would say it was my fault he crashed, and he did. I don’t know about the front end, but somehow, the windshield got a hit. It didn’t break through, and it was near the top right. There were cracks coming out of the center of the hit. The whole thing was the size of a regular plate.

My dad drove on to DPS. I filled out the stupid forms, and waiting more than an hour for my turn. There was this cute girl in front of me. Pretty long brow hair, short-shorts, and all. What a looker!  She was like 2 inches taller though, maybe. She might be a volleyball girl. There was also this hot guy with a black shirt. He had short dirty blond hair, a rugged goatee, awesome muscles, and some sloppy shoes with regular blue jeans. Man, I wanted him. He liked to pace around a lot, and do a little flexing and stretches with his body. I wanted to reach out, and touch him. He probably was in his 30’s, or late 20’s, and he didn’t seem like a guy with a lot of money. Based on the clothes. I think I saw him glancing at my direction a few times. Argh, I wish I could at least ask him the time. He’s probably one of the most hottest guys I’ve seen in person.

Ok, back to the story. I waited SO long. Can’t the state do a better job running these facilities? I’ve been to two DPS’s so far, and they both were the same : lots of people bunched up and waiting, old and ugly buildings, rust, old computers, and did I mention the lines were LONG? My number finally came up, and I got to wait in the short line for the desk. Lucky me, there. But I had to fill out something I missed, but got back in the same short line a few minutes later.

Then I came up to a different lady. She asked what I came for, a license or ID, and when I told her I wanted to take the test, she told me to give her ‘the paperwork’. The paperwork??? What paperwork? I just glanced through the stupid driver’s guidebook, and took a few free tests online. My dad came up, and the lady explained that I’m supposed to fill out this form, she just handed me, and send it with $20 to the address on it. I would have to wait 2 weeks maybe, and get a driving kit, where I’m suppose to log how many hours I’m learning, and whatever. So that means like a whole other month to even take the written test. My cousin, Phuong, just went in and took the test like that because she was 21. I was under 18. We left.

On the way home, my dad explained to me. He also isn’t keen on getting me to ‘drive so soon’. Drive so soon? Almost everybody I know is already driving or can drive, have or will get their own car soon, and are the same age as I am. My dad said my sister didn’t even get her first cellphone and car from my parents, until she went to college. Which was like 1999 or around there. This is 2008 and times have definitely changed. I’m lucky I have a cellphone. The problem my dad said, was that even if I do learn how to drive, and get my license, how is he going to afford a car? Pay the ridiculous insurance for teens younger than 18? We’re definitely NOT rich, and we’ve gone through hard times since the recession. I was shocked when he told me a month ago how much he and my mom really make. I mean considering the nice new house we got (2X larger than my old one) last year, that we can still pay for Comcast’s ridiculous price for phone, internet, and digital cable, and all the other nice little things my bros and I get sometime, we still have hard times. He says I don’t need to drive. But I DO NEED TO DRIVE. Why? Well :

  • Houston is a car city – If I need to get around, the only way around here in the suburbs is to learn how to drive, and get a car.
  • Friends – I’ve lamented before, but my immediate area doesn’t have a SINGLE friend or person I want to hang out with. That’s why I’m lonely everyday. Nobody’s around, and since my parents are so busy, I can’t visit anyone. Not to mention other issues I’ve got.
  • Job – I still don’t have any job yet. I thought maybe I should get a car first, and I can at least drive to a job on my own, and pay up for it by working there. But since I can’t get a car it seems (though my cousin, with the help of my parents, got her a pretty nice used car), I’d have to depend on my parents yet again. I don’t want that.
  • I’m going to suffer – Staying at home everyday, depending on people to give me rides, when they can’t. I’m stuck and doomed.

Every time, I wonder, what if life were different?

What if my parents had a more high-paying job?

What if we didn’t live in a world, where having a car sucks tons of your money down the drain when you get one and use it?

What if I lived somewhere more close to what’s important, and pedestrian friendly?

What if I could just be a normal teenager like everyone else?

What if I stopped asking so much stupid questions?

Maybe I’d be better off. But I’m miserable right now. Life just isn’t fair. I’d do anything to avoid having to deal with a car, as long as it’s practical. But I can’t. There’s no such thing where I live. So it seems like for the next 1 and a 1/2 years, I’m going to suffer not having reliable transportation. I’m going to suffer not having the normal American teen lifestyle. I’m going to suffer because of the darn fuel prices. I’m just going to suffer so long, I don’t know how I can take this. I’m just so angry life is like this. It’s miserable. It’s horrible. I’d do anything to get around, instead of sit around my house all alone.

So everything bad that could happen, happened.

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3 responses to “I’m DOOMED for the next 1 and a 1/2 years

  1. What exactly is the "normal American teen lifestyle?" I bet millions of kids around the world would love to have what you have: a home, loving parents, and food on the table everyday. Sure life isn\’t always all amazing and stuff, but we always have to acknowledge how our lives would be even without all the stuff we already do have. Imagine if your parents didn\’t care about you and bothered to work their long hours to feed, clothe, and give you a roof? The good thing is that you still have many years to live how you want to live. For now, appreciate what is given to you. What isn\’t, one day you will be able to attain.
     
    I don\’t say this like I\’m always acknowledging everyting, and I do sometimes wish for better times. But at least I know that everyone also is wishing for bigger and better things and no one has everything they want. And that makes me feel like there\’s no need or worthiness for my extra pain and suffering while desiring.
     
    As for your dad. Some parents are like that. Like you said, he\’s tired. Imagine how\’d you feel if you had to do everything he does at that age. Timing is key. That\’s something I\’ve mastered. ;p

  2. @Albert : It\’s not that I\’m ungrateful for what they already do give me. I really am happy with what I already have. But I\’d trade most of what I have to actually do something in life. I would toss my computer away, my cable and internet access, and a bunch of things to just travel around, or meet up with friends more often. Having a car or getting to drive is the only way to do it. I\’d stop my life of playing with my computer, watching TV, and all the home leisure stuff like that for going out and doing stuff. Real stuff.
     
    I\’d trade all the comforts of home, to go out in the real world.

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